I must move constantly between not needing to know and knowing that I do not know and thus commit myself to the process of finding out. I experience faith as a gift and as a question. The very nature of the gift requires that I face the question. If it is truly a gift of the Giver, a real response to a true God, then the questioning will enable the deeper receiving of the gift and a deepening knowing of the Giver.
If there is no Giver, then there is no gift, and the questioning will expose the illusion.
Nothing I can do can alter the ultimate situation here. I can only seek to put myself in the way of receiving an exposure of this situation. I must investigate. I must respond, I must see – and let be whatever I am brought to see.